


A life without Ian is no life at all.

by fallingforcas



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Death, Homophobic Language, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Sadness, Season 3, alternative ending to the season, cry cry cry cry, for my lovely reader who asked for thus, guns shit, its long lul, mickey comes to be his season 4 self quickly due to death of ian, mickey finds out, might be errors, morning after the wedding, sorrrrrrrrry, terry the fucking basturd, the aftermath, the end is what i believe we see when we die ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:13:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2181012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingforcas/pseuds/fallingforcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey finds out that Ian is gone,and takes the matter into his own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A life without Ian is no life at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I used the quotes from 4x12 as im still not over dat
> 
> also sorry if its poo but one of my lovely readers Janie wanted me to do part 2 to my 'it will be fine and dandy up there' fic.  
> probs got errors -me sorry im on my.phone
> 
>  
> 
> PROMPT ME- im-an-angel-y0u-ass.tumblr.com  
> i hope its good,but yeh im.sad writing it due to feels. I'm a fan of sad fics (not sorry) but this made me sad ok

Mickey squinted as the beam of light passed through the room. Head pounding and the lingering taste of last nights whiskey Mickey tried to remover himself from his pit.  
The bed was empty beside him,and thank fuck for that;sleeping next to the whore who raped you and carrying a baby which you didn't even want,yeah sounds like a fucking holiday. 

After the wedding Terry rounded them up and decided to go back to their place. Mickey wanted to see Ian..badly...after it but the redhead wondered off somewhere. Not surprising. 

Mickey tried to tell Ian which his kiss that this was not what he wanted. That Ian was all he wanted. He was always shitty with words and the stupid redhead knew that,Mickey just hoped that he still did. 

Terry ran off during the after-party celebrations and Mandy didn't even join in the first place,so there he was stuck with some drugged up uncles and a Russian whore. Well until mickey decided to drink himself to sleep so he didn't have to see the emerging bump on his wife's stomach. 

already in some shorts and a shirt;as he was not sleeping naked next to the whore,he wondered out into the living room of the Milkovich house. Terry was no where to be seen which was not a surprise as Mickey knew that he was probably passed out in some bar,hopefully forever. 

Svet-no the whore,was stood wearing a dressing gown as she rested on the couch,cigarette in one hand. Mickey couldn't stand looking at her,every time he did it brought him back to that day. It brought him back to the hurt he had seen on Ian's face. 

All his thoughts about all that shit were forced away as Mandy stormed in tears draining from her face. The door slammed shocking Mickey slightly as he knew that door only slammed if something bad had happened.  
Mickeys first thoughts was that Mandy and Lip had probably broken up ;she always cried about that,or some guy might have got her pregnant. 

'what the fuck Mandy?' he shouted,snatching the lighter from his wife's hand before lighting it up. 

Mandy glared at him her teeth shaking from crying. 'fuck off Mickey!' she stomped away slamming her bedroom door behind her. 

'she is sad,go fuckin' talk to her.' the Russian accent almost made him sick,but he knew she was right even if he did hate her. 'You have been here a fuckin' day and you already think ya the queen of the house. Jesus christ.' Mickey exhaled his smoke before making his way to his rather upset-now wailing sister. Oh he was going to rant about this to Gallagher later. First the nazi shit..now this

he wasn't going to knock,because when the fuck did Milkoviches ask to be invited in? As the door swung open his eyes laid onto his sister who was now curled in herself,her cries growing louder and louder. '

'You and Lip broke up again? I will break his fuckin' knee caps if ya want me to?' Mickey shifted slightly flicking his cigarette end into the near by ashtray.

'I said fuck off Mickey.' her voice was muffled due to the pillow she was now using to hide her cries.

'I swear to god Lips going to ge-

'You have got the wrong fuckin' Gallagher!' Mandy was now shouting,her voice croaky as her throat and nose was now clogged up. mickey frowned at her words.

Was she speaking about Ian?Fiona?Carl?Debbie?Liam? ... Fucking frank? Jesus to many fucking Gallagher's and it made Mickey cringe that he knew all their names. 

Mandy watched as Mickey was utterly confused but drawn to what she was saying. taking a deep breath,but it didn't even help she sat herself up slowly. 'Its Ian.' 

 

Mickeys heart tinged with tension,what about Ian? Was he in trouble. 'what the fuck about him?' mickeys heart was racing but still no one actually knew he was gay,never mind fucking Ian so he had to act oblivious,like he didn't give a shit. 

'he's...he's dead.' she tried to speak again after the tears came flooding back and the only noise leaving her mouth was hurt. 'Some fucker shot...shot him last night,if I-i wasn't fuckin' makin Lip jealous i could of stopped it..fuck.'

Mickey felt blood drain from his entire body,his heart beating like a drum like it was going to pop right there. What Mandy said had to be a joke...she was joking right? Ian was this overenthusiastic loonie-soldier,he could miss a shot by far. He could couldn't he? Mickey couldn't breath,he lent against the door his own tears starting to breach his eyes.

The world around him seemed nothing but pointless now,Ian would always be the positive and the glass-is-half-full kind of guy. Now he was gone. mickey took a shakey breath trying to hold in the deep sobs which were waiting to be heard. 

Mandy glanced up at her brother noticing his strange sudden stumble to movement. Lip had shouted in hurt and rage about the whole Mickey and Ian situation but obviously she didn't believe it. But seeing Mickey this effected to point his looked like his skin was going paler and paler,her head was swung into a another direction and suddenly realized everything she had missed.

Everything she thought was just two guys messing about,was actually them two being together. What.the.fuck.

a unfamiliar pain stabbed his heart,it hurt like fuck and he couldn't stop it. How the hell did this happen,how the hell did he not stop it?  
'you think it was dad?' Mandy whispered not knowing if Terry was actually in the house. 

 

Mickey couldn't speak. Hell he couldn't breath properly,he was starting to develop feelings for that stupid redhead. Fuck it. He loved that stupid redhead,and now he got himself shot. Leaving Mickey on his own,sith no one. As Mandy spoke of Terry his eyes shot up, a tear sliding anonymously down his cheek. 

Acting as if he didn't know what the fuck was going on,or that he didn't care ;despite his whole body shaking and his tears falling like paint. 'why the fuck would dad kill him?' 

Mandy shook her head,sniffing up to try unblock her nose. 'Don't act like you don't know Mick.' she mumbled looking up,with a look of anger in her tear rimmed eyes. 'Lip fucking told me,yeah..he told be everything. So don't fucking act like you don't give a shit.'  
She stood up,her face coming into perspective now,mascara was ruined on her face,red stains lingering on her cheeks from crying. 

Mickey stood still,fear creeping up his chest. How he wished Ian was here right now,he was always good at talking..stupid fuckin' chatterbox. The memory shook Mickey tears rolling down his cheeks not for so long as he quickly wiped them away before.anyone could see. 

jabbing her finger in his chest she got rid of the deafening silence. 'you clearly fuckin' Love him Mick. So don't you dare act like it doesn't fuckin' hurt,because i know it does.' 

Mickey was still shocked at this point,the news of Ian being dead was still not real to him. He wanted to believe that firecrotch was running around somewhere doing his shitty training,but clearly that wasn't true. then it hit him,Ian was shot. Shot most likely when he was alone. And it did hurt. It hurt like fuck.

Now mickey didn't want to admit his love for the boy as to be honest it scared the shit outta him,but only Ian could be the one to hear it and now hes not fucking there anymore. Ian died alone,and Mickey flinched at that. Ian was the good guy,so so good,that was not how it should of ended,he deserved the world not some Southside gun shot.

Mandy shook Mickeys shoulder making him release a breath he didn't even notice he was holding. At this point he didn't really care,maybe he had stayed and found Ian he wouldn't be dead. Maybe if for once he had stood up to Terry and told him how he felt he wouldn't be dead. ...maybe..there was no maybe. There was no 'what ifs' Ian was gone,stone cold ready to be buried in the ground. 

mickey didn't know how to cope with it,Ian made him happy. Now he fucking was gone and Mickey was scare-no he knew that he would never be happy without him.

the now growing silence and the sniffing of both the Milkoviches echoed the room,until they heard the grunting and manic laughter radiate the house. Mickey franticly rubbed his eyes as he knew it was Terry and if he was caught crying like some pussy a beating would be heading his way.

Mandy scattered not looking at Terry as she left the house with no intentions of getting Mickey out. mickey wasn't mad,he knew she did it so he could.stand up and face Terry. He knew that he would probably of told her to go and he would take her hits so she didn't have to get hurt. Like he always did.

'What the fuck is her problem?' Terry slurred pushing past Mickey to rummage through the drawer of guns,the stench of alcohol brushing off him. 

Mickey turned away but his movement was caught in the eye of Terry.

'you fuckin' cryin? You know who cries fuckin' pussies and no son of mine is a pussy.' turning Mickey hard by his shoulders Terry growled with anger as Mickey released a sniff.

First punch wasn't too bad,Mickey was used to it. Even though he heard his jaw crack the thoughts of Ian blocked out the hits he was receiving. Nothing hurt more than Ian and now he could believe that.

'fuckin' queer.' Terry mumbled as he pushed Mickey to the ground giving him a few kicks to the ribs. 

'I knew killing that ginger fucker was good for ya,making you a damn pussy he was.' he was mumbling again,but it was clear enough to Mickey.

Rising up with anger even though there was pain all around him,mickey came face to face with the enemy. 'So it was you? You killed him.' Mickey braced himself for another hit that didn't come,instead Terry let out a barrel of laughter with made Mickeys heart clench.  
The adrenaline was rushing through him,and be new what he had to do. For Ian.

'He's a fuckin' shit shoveler,they all deserve to be shot.' terry was speaking as if he didn't know Mickey was gay. Mickey bared his teeth suddenly,his whole body burning red with anger.  
he hated it when people spoke about Ian like he was nothing,because he wasn't nothing. He was everything,he was your bestfriend,your brother,your dad(one which didn't beat you up) he was that one kid that was such a idiot. He was all those things put together and that made him perfect. 

Mickey wished he had actually said those things to Ian instead of always pushing him away like he did. But it was too late now. taking a giant gulp of air he stepped forward,grabbing the end of the gun which was resting in the hands of his father. 

Leading it towards the under of his chin he shook with fear. But he knew a life without Ian was no life at all. He had thought about just shrugging it off,Ian was meant to be this fuck-buddy but as soon as they kissed it was way more than that.

secretly Mickey had pledged his love to Ian,he would of never had said that of course as he was not a fag. Okay maybe he was,but only with Ian. 

The tip of the gun rested on his skin,a tear falling onto the metal. His hands were gripped to the sides of it,Terry was laughing still he didn't give a shit at all. 

'If you killed him,ya gonna have to kill me too.' Terry laughed again,not moving the gun at all. He knew Mickey was being serious,but come on waste your life for some gay shit? Nah. He thought Mickey was mad,fuckin no son of his. 'so what? You are going to die for some fuckin' bent ginger?' 

Mickey actually chuckled,it was mainly from the fear of his upcoming death but also because he was finally speaking up to him.  
'See what your actually forgetting is I'm fuckin' gay too! So are ya gonna kill me?' Mickey was now shouting,all his emotions were combust and he couldn't stop. He had to keep believing that he was doing it for Ian.

not even noticing the screams of the Russian behind him,he pushed the gun further into his skin,watching as Terry clenched his jaw.

'Come on Pops! There's a fuckin' queer in the room,shoot him down! COME ON!' Mickey was manic mode,shouting anything he could to encourage the man to pull the trigger. 

'You are not fuckin' him,ya hear me! -shut the fuck up bitch!' Terry quietened the whore after spitting his words as Mickey. 

'I know that! You know what daddy? I fuckin' love him! That's right,love him. He gives it to me good and hard,I suck his dick and i fuckin' love it!' the words were just tumbling out now,he could see the red in his fathers eyes. Yes,that is what he wanted. To be honest the whole situation was taking too long and he just wished the fucker would shoot already.

He couldn't stay,not in this world. Not if he didn't have Ian Gallagher there to annoy the fuck out of him.  
'pole smokin fuck-  
'DO IT,JUST FUCKIN DO IT!' as his last word reached the tip of the tongue the click of the gun echoed through the walls,the bullet piercing into.his neck;the bang of the weapon like a siren to the world that Mickey was dead.  
terry was screaming with anger as mickey slammed to the ground blood pouring out with no intention to stop. he knew he had only a couple of seconds before death took him,so he blanked out the sudden pain that overthrew him. in these seconds he closed his eyes to think of Ian.  
What made him calm was thinking about that asshole so he did. That gleaming smile which he always fuckin' dreamed about,that idiot laugh which would belch out. It was like Ian was speaking to him as he felt his time run out. Everywhere was just darkness his heart totally bust.  
'hey Mickey.' in that last defining second,he saw the redhead in all his glory,his hand wide out for Mickey to reach. A blinding light behind him. He never looked as beautiful as be did,his skin glowing matching his grinning mouth. With no question at all he grabbed his hand,feeling full again with the touch. He felt no pain,the hole in his heart was healing. He grinned up wide as he liked the feel of their warm palms together. It was ridiculously gay but fuck it.

'After you firecrotch.' after all a life without Ian,is no life at all.


End file.
